The Secret Life of Salarymen

While working in Japan as an English teacher, my fellow teachers and I were treated to receptions and parties several time of year. The occasions were the arrival of new teachers or the departure of others. The dynamic of a Japanese style enkai is very unique and with a little preparation, can be an amazing experience.

The party goers arrive in the early evening and are coming straight from work, a long day of paper pushing and office calisthenics behind them. No alcohol is immediately served and the office workers wait patiently for the gaijin to arrive, usually tardy.
The party begins formally on time with a word from the Superintendent and a rough translation from Yuji. A formal toast is offered, not before the beer is brought out and everyone takes turns filling someones glass, never your own. After the kanpai, the atmosphere is noticeably different.

We all grab a pair of chopsticks and dig in to the beautifully presented plates of food. There is no sitting, simply nibbling on the appetizers between sips of beer and a chance for the gradually reddening salarymen to practice their limited knowledge of English. (Others choose to converse with some of us other teachers who've been in Japan a few years and are comfortable with limited Japanese).

As everyone moves closer to sauciness, the games begin. On this occasion, I am acting as the MC and purveyor of the games. The game chosen to be played on an occasion like this has to involve everyone, it has to be lively, not necessarily intellectually stimulating, but perhaps a bit more risque than your average junior high English class game. The previous winter break, I had headed to Western Australia and was introduced to a game by our crazy Aussie guide. Have a look:



It is very simple, just what it looks like. A participant ties and tennis ball-laden pantyhose around his waist and proceeds to use repetitive pelvic thrusts and nothing else to push a tennis ball across a given distance. As you can see, this gentleman is enjoying himself, (although the placement of his hands in his nether region technically constitutes a rules infraction). Of course the gaijin participate as well, and this guy has chosen to sport some classic Air Jordan shoes to this semi-formal party:



This game turns out to be pretty successful. I know this by seeing office workers doubled over as they see their drunk superiors gyrating and thrusting their way across the room with an over sized floppy phallus.

Finally it is time for a Kumamoto City Board of Education Original Performance, as the staff performs their patented Feats of Strength. These are various figures, monuments and shapes built only by human ingenuity and Japanese eccentricity. They warm up with a few easy ones. It is time for the London Bridge:



The final shape is the traditional pyramid:



We all appreciate this gesture, it's sort of a gift from our co-workers. The two hours worth of laughter we experienced this night will no doubt bookmark this party into the volumes of our memories.